PRINCIPLES OF SEDUCTION

There is a little nugget of wisdom I would like to share with all women - the surefire way to find a man is to stop looking for a man. Desperation is an ugly trait.

It has never wooed a man of the right calibre. Desperation can only appeal to creeps and hangers-on. The ladies who prowl bars and clubs hunting for men paint a pitiful picture. They stick out like sore thumbs. They are usually perched at the counter nursing one drink for a whole night. They throw meaningful glances at every Tom, Dick and Harry Omunyololo who looks in their direction.

Such lasses will go out with anybody who will give them the time of day, standards can go hang! They go on multiple dates hoping that one of them will be a keeper. They will brag about being hitched, but the relationships they engage in can’t really be defined. They are usually short and unstable. Nine times out of 10, desperate girls find themselves at the mercy of douche bags who are out to take advantage of them. This desperate search for a man only leaves a trail of unfulfilling relationships and shattered self-esteem.

It sounds like a bit of a cliché, but there is a morsel of truth in the saying, “the right man will find you when you are not even looking.”

Never make men and relationships the focus of your life. Rather than blowing your time entertaining pricks, how about concentrating your energy on self improvement? You would have better luck getting a man to fall in love with if you fall in love with yourself first. Strive to become the kind of woman who would attract the kind of man you are hoping to land. Always give the impression that you are a woman of substance.
Being in a relationship should not be the hallmark of your life. Never base your contentment on being in a relationship. A man should be there to complement your life, not define it. Self fulfillment goes way beyond having a man to call your own.

If you find yourself in and out of meaningless relationships, you should take some time off to rediscover yourself. Stop bending over backwards to please men who are only taking you for a ride.

Sometimes loneliness might creep in and you might feel like you have to settle for whatever is available. But allowing yourself to be used as a doormat will leave you feeling worse.

Independent women have men lining up to date them. Even then, such women are not quick to settle. A man must meet a certain criteria to even merit your phone number. Challenge yourself today. Let go of the anxiety of a life of loneliness and instead work on becoming the best version of yourself.

You can, by educating yourself, furthering your career or even resolving to a healthier lifestyle. Form strong bonds with friends and when the time is right, the perfect man will walk into your life.

© anonymous (http://www.simbacor.com)

7 THINGS SINGLES SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE

7 Things Singles Should Know About Marriage

In last week's Marriage Memo, I wrote of
seven things men need to know about
marriage. In a culture of counterfeits and
mistruths, it's important to understand what
marriage is about.
1. A man needs to know that the key to great sex is exclusivity. Our modern world tricks a man into thinking that more sources of sexual stimulation will satisfy him. But like a drug, they thrill but do not satisfy. Sexual entertainment, images, and illicit sex erode rather than enhance sexual joy in a marriage. The way to become a great lover is to practice with only one woman for life. To be generous, exclusive, and serving--not greedy, distracted, and taking. A great relationship and great sex are connected in marriage, and that only happens when a man's sole target of sexual affections, imaginations, and enjoyment is his wife.

2. A man needs to know that marriages typically have a one- or two-year "honeymoon era." This is a period of semi- blind euphoria that makes the relationship magnetic and easier. It's as if our Creator gives that to us humans to get us jump- started in marriage. Couples should know that when the euphoria wears off and they eventually settle into normality, the different feelings they experience do not indicate that they married the wrong person or are not "in love" anymore.

3. A man needs to know that living together and having sex before marriage uses up a good portion of the "honeymoon era" euphoria. It often causes the onset of reality to begin almost immediately after the wedding, depending on how long the couple
had been living and sleeping together.
Research shows that divorce and issues of mistrust are more common for those who cohabit before marriage than for those who do not. Cohabiting is not "good practice" for marriage.

4. A man needs to know that commitment is a key to success in all of life, and especially in a relationship with a woman. One way of defining commitment in marriage is never considering divorce. If you know that you won't be leaving or divorcing, it forces you
to face differences and problems and work through them. In marriage it is the security of commitment that allows a woman to feel peace in the relationship. The assurance of a husband's commitment helps a woman entrust herself to him emotionally and sexually.

5. A man needs to know that marriage is not easy. Marriage is not automatic, and it's often difficult. The euphoria of romantic infatuation in the first years of marriage fades, requiring the mature resolve to behave lovingly and invest relationally to build a deeper bond than infatuation. Marriage will take intentional and continual effort.

6. A man needs to know that the purpose of marriage is less to make you happy, than to make you holy. Now it's true that a good marriage to a good woman can make you happier than most anything else on earth.
But if your goal is to be happy, then you will be focused on yourself, and you will damage your character and your relationships. If you aim to be holy--like Jesus, not like a monk--you will invite God to change you. You will allow your marriage relationship to change you and crush your selfish will and defensive pride. You will experience true oneness in your marriage--you'l l be deepest friends, intimate allies, generous lovers, caring providers, complementary partners, spiritual enhancers. (Thanks to Gary Thomas for the idea.)

7. A man needs to know that God gives
authority and responsibility to a husband to make the marriage thrive and last. He is to steward and shepherd himself and his wife's union. He is to be proactive at assisting God in healing her past wounds, creating oneness in their bond, and assuring her (and their children) of his love for her.

Women are natural responders when men
initiate in love, prayer, and humility. Men
must not be passive, arrogant, distracted, or controlling. A man will not point the finger at his wife's behavior or shortcomings, but will examine his history as a husband and ask God to change him. His heart, his care, and his initiative is the key to his wife's response and the health of the marriage.

©Jeff Kemp (Vice President, FamilyLife)

TRAPPED BETWEEN THE BREASTS AND THE LAPS OF DELILAH

One aspect of Delilah that broke my guard was her food! ‘Delicious’ was an understatement when it comes to her dishes... as soon as she came, my fasting life died! The grace of fasting just dissipated. At 6.00am, she woke me up with a cup of cold juice, then followed with ‘fries’ – it could be fried chicken, fried turkey; fried goat meat; fried fish, fried snails and other bush meat from their country home of Gaza. Her service was another thing! She never delegated my food to house girls, she brought it herself: She never served me standing. She went on her two knees and pulled me by the ear with the pet name she coined for me: “Sam, the Great”... “Great is my Samson”! I also responded with “Del, the Den” My head swells up any time she tickles me with her finger and whispers “Sam, the Great”, but my heart shrinks. Some measure of anointing just drop off my spirit...

She perfected my drinking spree, she never rushed me to finish a bottle. She knows how to mix different grill of wine. She served me sip by sip; “sip by sip’, I wouldn’t know when I have finished five bottles. She had all the time. She gave me full time attention! I never begged her for sex. She satisfied me to the full. I was the one who usually begged her to release me. I had no need to go out any more. She was never boring! She changed her dresses like chameleon, with assorted perfumes. As soon as I married Delilah, I was also a full time ‘househusband’. I never went for raids any more. You know before now, despite my backsliding; these were occasions when the Spirit will remind me of my call: and my call was to kill and route out the Philistines from our Father’s land. I will just jump up and go furiously looking for any Philistine’s camp to raid. That was my own form of evangelism. All of this finished for me. I began to actually cherish the Philistines. I reasoned: ‘why should we insist they leave the land?’ I began to propose a coexistence with these uncircumcised.

Besides, I had put on so much weight that I could not carry myself easily about again. I had no disciple to send or any army that I have raised and taught the principles of warfare. I did not transfer the anointing to anyone. I was a loner. I was alone, now trapped between the breast and the lap of ‘Del, the Den’. When I proposed that we should have children, Delilah objected, saying the honeymoon had not finished; besides Children will interrupt our “love play” too early. Little did I know she was planning to cut me short out of the land of the living. That was why I had no descendant or do you know any of my sons that I gave birth to? My father’s name perished in Israel with me. I squandered my father’s inheritance, I left no next of kin. I was a useless son to my father and my cherished mother Manoah’s name had since been forgotten in our tribe of Dan... Delilah occupied me so much, I forgot my calling; I lost my vision and I lost contact with my people. None of them could visit me while Delilah was around, she stood at the gate and told them I was sleeping and none should disturb me. She cut me off from all who would have reinforced my life in fellowship; all who would have prayed with me, she estranged me from! She got me isolated from my roots. She so occupied me with vanities.
                  

Brethren, let's watch out for every Delilah in our lives as we enter 2019. And if you are already trapped by one, even the lawful captive can be delivered. Let's trace back our steps to the cross, to where we first met Him and ask Him to fix us up again. He can restore lost hope, lost vision and lost lives. And if you are yet to give your life to Jesus, this is just the right time to ask Jesus to come into your life. Have  a blossom 2019 ahead.
God loves you and so do I.

©GBILE AKANNI

BIG DREAMS GREATER DEMANDS

BIG DREAMS GREATER DEMANDS
LUKE 12: 48
I am always fascinated by the desires of many singles who aspire to be hooked up with a ‘great’ spouse because it is a good thing to have a great aspiration. You must be seeing life from a positive perspective so that your existence can be meaningful. As a single who is looking into the future for a glorious marriage and you are earnestly praying and believing God to give you a wonderful partner you must not forget that you as a person must be wonderful too. In actual sense you dream spouse is a possibility only if you are dreaming in the will of God for your life, moreso the will of God in marriage is ready-made but not automatic in actualisation – it is required of you to put in your best to make it a reality.
PERFECT SPOUSE:
Have you asked yourself this question, why do singles, especially Teens do admire, crush and fall in love with married-person? One of the reasons is this…they aspire to hook someone who is “perfect” and such spouse have been worked on, that is why they are admirable. I want you to know this truth today that the perfect spouse in the mind of God not the picture in your head is out there waiting for you, it is your duty to locate him/her and brew him/her to your taste. You desire a perfect spouse? Be perfect and be ready to make him/her perfect too.
RICH SPOUSE:
There is a saying “I can’t stay any longer at PATIENCE AVENUE I am going to READYMADE GLORY QUARTERS”. But you have forgotten that someone is responsible for that particular readymade glory. Don’t you know that you do not have a say anywhere your impact is not felt or known? Stop being a parasite! You too can contribute something by making difference with your capacity. It baffles me when you see a young person “so expectant but idle”. As a man you can support and contribute to your wife wealth and so a woman. Let your sweat be in your spouse labour.
INFLUENTIAL SPOUSE:
Oh may I marry a husband like Aliko Dangote, Yes Lord I desire a man like Pastor Enoch Adeboye, My God give me a wife like Hillary Rodham Clinton…these are your prayers and indeed I am so convince and confident that God hears you and He wants to materialise it but you are not there and you were never ready to pay the price in in order to obtain the prize. These prices include righteous-rigorous prayer life, been away from one another, confronting and conquering threat against your marriage without destroying your home and protection of your spouse from molestation. 
CONCLUSION
Much is required from those to whom much is given, for their responsibility is greater. Luke 12:48b (TLB). As you are foreseeing the future and praying for its actualisation I want you to “take the bull by the horn” and make your God given vision a reality in marriage and career. Do not live a life of an opportunist or parasite. Do not live your life by chances. Walk in the reality of God’s provision though it may look vague, hold unto it and pour yourself into it because it is the determinant of your future.
PRAYER:
DEAR LORD GOD, I RECEIVE POWER THROUGH THE HOLY GHOST TO BE REPONSIBLE IN RECEIVING AND FULFILLING MY GOD GIVEN VISION IN MARRIAGE AND CAREER IN JESUS NAME, Amen!
Be Abound in Grace